The conversion of Saul of Tarsus in Acts 9 has a lot to say in response to these questions:
So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” (Acts 9:6)
Sister Nagel used to be a member of our church, many years ago. She spent her latter years in a nursing home, and I recall a story my grandmother told me of visiting her in that nursing home. "How are you?" asked my grandmother. Sister Nagel replied, "I'm fine, I guess, but I sure do miss my stuff."
I've often ruminated on that little phrase, "I sure miss my stuff." It is rich with meaning. It is so descriptive of so many of us.
"I'd get saved, if I didn't have to give up so much."
"I'd serve the Lord, if it didn't cost so much."
"I would stop kicking against the goads, Lord, but I would miss my stuff too much!"
When I attended Kent State University as a young man, I took an introductory speech class. One of our assignments was to give a persuasive speech. I don't remember my speech. (Tells you how good it was!) I don't remember the speeches of anyone except for one young lady, whose speech has remained with me to this day. She was a Christian, and she attempted to persuade the class of their need to become Christians. As a fellow believer, I listened to her speech with admiration... and conviction that I hadn't shown similar courage in my subject matter. But she said something that has always bothered me... she repeatedly told the class, "You don't have to give up anything... you don't have to change anything... in order to become a Christian." The clear implication was that you could go on living just as you had before you were saved... that you could be saved and have no change in your life at all.
But look at Saul lying there in the dirt. Listen to him as he lifts blinded eyes toward the face of the Savior and, TREMBLING AND ASTONISHED says, "Lord, what do You want me to do?" Look at this man who was, minutes before, the picture of pride and prestige, but who now is completely humbled and surrendered and broken. Look at him a few verses later when they had to lead him by the hand like a child into Damascus.
Is this the picture of an unchanged man? Is this someone who was the same after his salvation as before? Is this someone who didn't give up anything in his experience of coming to Christ?
Hank William's sang it:
I wandered so aimless, life filled with sin;
I wouldn't ask my dear Saviour in.
Then Jesus came like a stranger in the night;
Praise the Lord, I saw the light!
I saw the light, I saw the light.
No more darkness; no more night.
Now I'm so happy no sorrow in sight.
Praise the Lord, I saw the light!
Saul saw the light, and it CHANGED HIM FOREVER. His first words were, "Lord, what do you want me to do?" And he never persecuted the church again... he never kicked against the goads again... he went from persecuting the gospel to preaching it everywhere he went!
"Just before he had sought only to do his own will; now he inquired what was the will of the Saviour. Just before he was acting under a commission from the sanhedrim; now he renounced their supreme authority, and asked what the Lord Jesus would have him to do. Just before he had been engaged in a career of opposition to the Lord Jesus; now he sought at once to do his will. This indicates the usual change in the sinner. The great controversy between him and God is, whose will shall be followed. The sinner follows his own; the first act of the Christian is to surrender his own will to that of God, and to resolve to do that which he requires." (Albert Barnes)
"What do you want me to do?" - should be the cry of every believer! Is it the cry of your heart, today?
Saul of Tarsus met Jesus on the road to Damascus. And it changed him forever.
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