Don't Take It Personally

Tom Hanks, in a scene from the movie "You've Got Mail," provides some pointed advice to Meg Ryan. "It's not personal, it's BUSINESS," says Hanks.

That's a good thing to remember, I suppose, in the business world. But a similar principle applies to those of us trying to follow the Savior. We are all sinners struggling with how we relate to each other. And at times we experience the trauma of a fellow believer saying something that hurts us. Worse yet, sometimes we say and do things that hurt other believers.

Some thoughts come to mind that help with this:

1. Don't be too quick to judge somebody for saying something that hurts you. Remember the incredibly wise words of Solomon about this: "Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you, for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others." (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22 NIV) Now that's convicting, isn't it?
   
2. Remember that everything about our horizontal relationships (i.e. those we have with people around us) hinges on the status of our vertical relationship (i.e. our relationship with God). When things are right between us and the Lord, things go smoother with others. When we let our relationship with God slip, it affects our relationship with others. Think of the two pieces of a cross. The vertical piece holds up the horizontal piece. The horizontal piece cannot stay in place without the vertical. Our relationships with people cannot be right unless we first have a right relationship with God. Thus we can conclude - It's NOT PERSONAL when a person says something unkind to us. It's rather an indication of spiritual condition. If we see such behavior in ourselves, we ought to talk to the Lord about it and ask help in fixing it. If we experience it from somebody else, we ought to pray for them as well.

This all started in the garden of Eden, you know. Before sin entered the picture, Adam and Eve walked with God in the garden in innocence. But after sin entered the picture, they hid from God, and they attacked each other! It wasn't really personal when Adam said of Eve, "This woman you gave me, she made me do it!" His relationship with God was broken, and it hurt his relationship with his wife.

Let's work hard on walking with God, so we won't be so guilty of hurting our relationships with each other. And let's also work hard to not take it personally when we are on the receiving end of the same.